Bad Sex Award is Coming, Oh God Oh God Yes Yes Yes It’s Coming!

With hot moist tongue moiling the inside of its cheek, The Literary Review will present it’s annual Bad Sex Award to the author of the worst sex scene published in 2011.   The winner, selected from such nominees as Stephen King and Jean Auel, will be named on December 6 at a ceremony at London’s Naval and Military Club, which The Guardian tells us is “appropriately known as the In and Out.”

“The first thing that arises out of the nominations for this year’s bad sex awards – the excruciating writing highlighted by the Literary Review each year – is just how fecund their writers’ imaginations are,” notes Stephen Bates. “If they have done half the things they have ascribed to their characters, their spectacles must have steamed up.

“There are agile tongues, rooms that begin to shake, warm wet caves, volcanic releases, moist meat, bottomless swamps of dead fish and yellow lilies in bloom and cellars filled with a heady store of wines and spirits emitting wafts of gaseous bouquets. And that is before you get to massaging, kneading, stretching, rubbing, pinching, flicking, feathering, licking, kissing and gently biting – which occurs in just one sentence thanks to David Guterson.”

Jonathan Franzen was a nominee in last year’s competition, but either his bad sex wasn’t good enough, or his good sex wasn’t bad enough, for he didn’t win. You can read about that here.

As for this year’s, we’ll be panting, writhing and churning with anticipation of the news coming from the In and Out early in December.

Bad sex awards: the contenders for a night at the In and Out

Richard Curtis

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One Response to Bad Sex Award is Coming, Oh God Oh God Yes Yes Yes It’s Coming!

  1. Best. post. title. ever.

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